The family of three bears, Papa Bear, Mama Bear, and Little Bear, went out to the local mall on a mild spring day. Because they lived in such a good area of town, the bears often went out and left their front door unlocked. This was much to the displeasure of Mama Bear, who never trusted anyone out there, not even the people in her “safe” neighborhood. But Papa Bear insisted nothing would ever happen, so the front door was yet again left unlocked on that fateful spring day.
The bears had been gone about an hour when a young girl of about nineteen, with hair the color of straw, wandered up to the two-story brownstone with white windowpanes. The girl, who went by Goldi, had been wandering around town after her smartphone died. She still had one class at her local community college in an hour, and she was not sitting through Calculus 1 without her iPhone.
Desperate to find a charger, Goldi trudged up the steps to the brownstone. It attracted her because of its huge satellite on the roof, which meant that whoever lived there was probably technologically advanced in some way. Goldi knocked on the door, but no answer came. Hesitantly, she tried the doorknob. It twisted and gave way.
Goldi did not even stop to think before she marched into the house. The hallway smelled like fresh potpourri. Goldi wrinkled her nose.
She searched all around the house, but found no iPhone charger. Goldi silently cursed the inhabitants of the house. Seriously, who didn’t have an iPhone these days?!
Little did she know that Mama Bear absolutely refused to allow any sort of mobile phone into her home, because who knew what kind of hackers or stalkers could contact you through one of those? If Papa Bear or Little Bear had to use the phone, there was a perfectly good land line on the custom-made-from-France mahogany end table.
Goldi was about to give up and walk out of the house. But she walked past the living room and saw three laptops, arranged in a neat row on a computer desk. Goldi suddenly found herself in front of the computers, intrigued. She decided she would stay and chat with her best friend Mia for a little while on Facebook before class to find out what kind of parties were happening that night.
Goldi picked up the first laptop, a heavy old clunker that Papa Bear used for his law firm. She fired it up.
“This laptop’s WiFi is too slow!” Goldi complained.
Next she picked up a thin MacBook Air, which Mama Bear often used for Pinterest and gardening ideas.
“This laptop’s WiFi is too fast!” Goldi exclaimed. (Some people are just never happy.)
Finally, Goldi picked up the last laptop, which was adorned with stickers and Sharpie drawings. Little Bear used this for chatting with his friends (under the careful supervision of Mama Bear), and drawing pictures on Microsoft Paint.
“Ahh,” Goldi said, settling into the plush couch with the laptop in front of her, “This laptop’s WiFi is just right!”
After she’d chatted with Mia, Goldi set the computer back on the desk and looked around the room. She still had a little while before class, and there was really no rush for her to get there early. The thought of being alone in the room with ancient Dr. Anderson made her shudder.
Across the room, a silver glint caught her eye. Goldi wandered over and found three different iPods collected in a wicker basket. She picked up the first and plugged the headphones in.
The sounds of Billy Joel flooded her ears. Papa Bear’s favorite. Goldi winced.
“This music is too 80s!” she exclaimed, and picked up the second iPod.
Mama Bear’s Shaina Twain album came through the speakers, and Goldi quickly turned it off.
“This music is too 90s!” she said, and picked up the last iPod. It was filled with Little Bear’s music, who liked to think of himself as someone who stayed ahead of the trend with artists and bands.
“This music is just right!” Goldi said, and leaned back in her chair to listen.
Soon, however, Goldi grew tired. She decided to take a trip upstairs to see if there was anywhere she could lay down. She could probably sneak in a quick nap before class.
Goldi found the first bed, and laid down. Papa Bear had a bad back, so his chiropractor recommended he sleep on a very firm mattress. Goldi found the bed to be way too stiff, so she moved on to the next one. She found it too soft. Mama Bear always loved a nice soft pillow-top. When Goldi came across the third bed, which was adorned with a comforter decorated with pictures of guitars and drum sets, she found it just right.
While Goldi was napping blissfully in the bed, the bears came home. Papa Bear walked over to his laptop and powered it on.
“Someone’s been using my laptop!” he shrieked, “I hope they didn’t delete the files for the Johnson case!”
“Someone’s been using my laptop,” Mama Bear murmured, “Or maybe I just forget to turn it off.”
“Someone’s been using my laptop, too!” Little Bear said, throwing down his blue baseball cap in confusion.
Next, the bears discovered their iPods out of their normal home in the wicker basket. They each discovered someone had been using them, too.
Confused and anxious, the bear family went upstairs slowly. Mama Bear grabbed an umbrella from the stand to arm herself.
Upon entering the bedroom and seeing his bed, Papa Bear said quietly to his wife, “Someone’s been sleeping in my bed, Maureen.”
“Someone’s been sleeping in my bed, too” Mama Bear answered, tightening her grip on the umbrella.
Little Bear came running from the hallway. “Someone’s been sleeping in my bed, and they’re in there right now!” he whisper-yelled.
The bears quickly hurried to Little Bear’s room, where Goldi was just waking up from her nap. When her eyes adjusted,
she saw the three bears standing in the room before her. Her blue eyes grew wide with shock and fright.
“OH, MY GOD!” Goldi screamed, and threw back the covers.
Little Bear began to cry.
“DO SOMETHING, MORTY!” Mama Bear screeched, swinging the umbrella at no one in particular.
But before Papa Bear could even move, Goldi sprinted out the doorway and down the stairs. She flung open the front door, and raced out onto the street as fast as her legs could take her. By the time the bears got to the window, she was just a small speck in the distance.
“Oh, oh, oh,” Mama Bear huffed, one hand over her heart, “We need a new alarm system. I’m calling ADT tomorrow. Oh, oh, oh, I need an Aspirin.”
Papa Bear continued to stare out the window in shock as Little Bear buried his face into his pant leg.
The bears were all quiet for a few moments. Then Mama Bear broke the silence.
“I told you to lock the door!”