Emily: Good afternoon, Ms. Alice. My name is Emily. Did anyone tell you why I have come to see you today?
Emily: Do you know where you are?
Alice: *silence, sits up cautiously*
Emily: You are in the Ferningham Asylum. You have been in a coma for quite a few years, Ms. Alice.
Alice: That can’t be right, I was in Wonderland just minutes ago. Where are the flowers? Where is my cat?!!
Emily: If you are referring to your cat Dinah, he passed away quite a while ago. Now, I know it may be hard, but I want you to tell me what you can last remember.
Alice: I told you already, the rabbit was late. Late, late late …. You have no manners! Who do you think you aren’t? *she trails off*
Emily: Do you mean to ask who I am?
Alice: No. I mean who do you think you aren’t, because in Wonderland….. *trails off again* I can take you … I can take you .. take you… Wait, what day is it?
Emily: It’s March 16th, why?
Alice: Merry unbirthday to you!
Emily: What does that mean?
Alice: It means a tea party.
Emily: I’m sure if you’re hungry one of the nurses could get you some oatmeal if you’d like?
Alice: Wait, when is your birthday?
Emily: October 22, why?
Alice: Ahh, very good, very good; then happy unbirthday to you, too!
Emily: I have never heard of such a thing.
Alice: How do you take your tea? *she spits into a rag and sprinkles imaginary ingredients onto it*
Alice: Unsweetened? There is no unsweetened tea in Wonderland, who would of thunk?
Alice: Of course you are, my dear. You’re my friend; you will always be forgiven in Wonderland.
Emily: I don’t understand, I didn’t think …. Um, never mind.
Alice: How dare you say such a thing! For the mind is always and forever!
Emily: Of course it is, but I must interrupt. We are getting off topic a bit, I’m a reporter from The New York Times. Many people are interested in hearing your story. I wanted to see if there was anything in particular you would like to share with the world?
Alice: Nonsense – there is no story, no stories, only truth. I will bring you to the caterpillar, and he will help you.
Emily: Who is this caterpillar you mention?
Alice: Ohh, he has the most wonderful pipe. I couldn’t explain myself to him nor him to you, but he was such a gentleman. Does my hair look alright? It feels quite big. *taps poof of white fluff on top of head*
Emily: It looks fine, Alice.
Alice: Preciseilicely. Well, I should be going. I’m sure my sister is looking for me. I will bring you all back some mushrooms.
Emily: The mushroom, did you eat one before you went to “Wonderland”?
Alice: No, of course not. The caterpillar gave it to me while I was there. That’s when I met that puzzling cat who told me everyone was mad.
Emily: Everyone? Are you trying to tell me you think you’ve gone mad?
Alice: No one goes mad. We all are mad. And if you aren’t, that’s when you should be worried. That’s a way to have your head cut off.
Emily: Is there a way you could take me to “Wonderland”? For research, of course.
Alice: You must find the caterpillar, and eat the mushroom. Or maybe the rabbit will come to tea today?
Emily: Could you show me the way?
Alice: All ways are the queen’s way. I don’t have a way, or is it that I don’t have will. I can never remember.
Alice: I could never be as old as you are.
Emily: I’m afraid you are, Ms. Alice. *Emily points to the window*
Alice: Older, older .. *as she trails off she faces the window & sees her elderly reflection, passing out at the sight*
Alice: Where am I?
Mad Hatter: I told ya, you can’t leave without a cup of tea.
Alice: And the queen, what has happened? I wish to keep my head.
Mad Hatter: What is a head good for, anyway? Rolling, I dare say.
Alice: I had a terrible dream. A crazy, old lady was asking me about Wonderland.
Mad Hatter: Nonsense. Isn’t she silly?
Alice: You are right. That doesn’t add up to any cents.
Emily: Alice, wake up. Wake up, Alice!!
** Scene zooms out** Alice is in the same tattered blue dress in a deep sleep in her hospital bed.