Emily: Good afternoon, Ms. Alice. My name is Emily. Did anyone tell you why I have come to see you today?

Alice: *silence*

Emily: Do you know where you are?

Alice: *silence, sits up cautiously*

Emily: You are in the Ferningham Asylum. You have been in a coma for quite a few years, Ms. Alice.

Alice: That can’t be right, I was in Wonderland just minutes ago. Where are the flowers? Where is my cat?!!

Emily: If you are referring to your cat Dinah, he passed away quite a while ago. Now, I know it may be hard, but I want you to tell me what you can last remember.

Alice: I told you already, the rabbit was late. Late, late late …. You have no manners! Who do you think you aren’t? *she trails off*

Emily: Do you mean to ask who I am?

Alice: No. I mean who do you think you aren’t, because in Wonderland….. *trails off again* I can take you … I can take you .. take you… Wait, what day is it?

Emily: It’s March 16th, why?

Alice: Merry unbirthday to you!

Emily: What does that mean?

Alice: It means a tea party.

Emily: I’m sure if you’re hungry one of the nurses could get you some oatmeal if you’d like?

Alice: Wait, when is your birthday?

Emily: October 22, why?

Alice: Ahh, very good, very good; then happy unbirthday to you, too!

Emily: I have never heard of such a thing.

Alice: How do you take your tea? *she spits into a rag and sprinkles imaginary ingredients onto it*

Emily: Unsweetened.

Alice: Unsweetened? There is no unsweetened tea in Wonderland, who would of thunk?

Emily: Pardon?

Alice: Of course you are, my dear. You’re my friend; you will always be forgiven in Wonderland.

Emily: I don’t understand, I didn’t think …. Um, never mind.

Alice: How dare you say such a thing! For the mind is always and forever!

Emily: Of course it is, but I must interrupt. We are getting off topic a bit, I’m a reporter from The New York Times. Many people are interested in hearing your story. I wanted to see if there was anything in particular you would like to share with the world?

Alice: Nonsense – there is no story, no stories, only truth. I will bring you to the caterpillar, and he will help you.

Emily: Who is this caterpillar you mention?

Alice: Ohh, he has the most wonderful pipe. I couldn’t explain myself to him nor him to you, but he was such a gentleman. Does my hair look alright? It feels quite big. *taps poof of white fluff on top of head*

Emily: It looks fine, Alice.

Alice: Preciseilicely. Well, I should be going. I’m sure my sister is looking for me. I will bring you all back some mushrooms.

Emily: The mushroom, did you eat one before you went to “Wonderland”?

Alice: No, of course not. The caterpillar gave it to me while I was there. That’s when I met that puzzling cat who told me everyone was mad.

Emily: Everyone? Are you trying to tell me you think you’ve gone mad?

Alice: No one goes mad. We all are mad. And if you aren’t, that’s when you should be worried. That’s a way to have your head cut off.

Emily: Is there a way you could take me to “Wonderland”? For research, of course.

Alice: You must find the caterpillar, and eat the mushroom. Or maybe the rabbit will come to tea today?

Emily: Could you show me the way?

Alice: All ways are the queen’s way. I don’t have a way, or is it that I don’t have will. I can never remember.

Emily: *silence*

Alice: I could never be as old as you are.

Emily: I’m afraid you are, Ms. Alice. *Emily points to the window*

Alice: Older, older .. *as she trails off she faces the window & sees her elderly reflection, passing out at the sight*

Alice: Where am I?

Mad Hatter: I told ya, you can’t leave without a cup of tea.

Alice: And the queen, what has happened? I wish to keep my head.

Mad Hatter: What is a head good for, anyway? Rolling, I dare say.

Alice: I had a terrible dream. A crazy, old lady was asking me about Wonderland.

Mad Hatter: Nonsense. Isn’t she silly?

Alice: You are right. That doesn’t add up to any cents.

Emily: Alice, wake up. Wake up, Alice!!

** Scene zooms out** Alice is in the same tattered blue dress in a deep sleep in her hospital bed.